Pet Loss Is Different for Everyone

By Michele Mukatis

Our pets give us love and support in ways that no other being does. When they cross the Rainbow Bridge, it can be hard to adjust to daily life without their physical presence. The hole in our heart corresponds to how much of it we let them occupy. So how do we process their death and find ways to heal? Everyone’s path will be different, but here are some ways to move through the grief.

1. It’s okay to continue some routines for a while.

I used to go for daily (and nightly) walks with my dog. After she crossed, I would still go on those walks and I could actually feel here there walking with me. It was a way to realize that her energy was still there. Physically she was gone, but energetically, she was still looking out for me. Whatever your routine was, it’s okay if it feels right to continue that.

• Find a support group.

There are many resources available so that you know you aren’t going through this alone. We may think we are being silly and we should just “get over it,” but your feelings are valid and there is no right or wrong way to go through the grief of losing a pet. Lap of Love, Lasting Paws and Colorado State University’s Argus Center have programs, counseling and other resources to help you figure out how to navigate the future.

• Focus on your family and any other pets.

Remember that your other pets and your family members still need you as much as (maybe more than) always. Friends and family are there to share these experiences and help each other to move through them. Coming together to grieve and making sure your needs and other’s are taken care of is a great way to remember what’s important.

• Spend a little time thinking about it BEFORE the day comes.

I’m not saying you should dwell on an impending loss, but sometimes it’s helpful to consider outcomes ahead of time.

Also, when we really focus on the finite nature of life, it helps us stay more present with those we love on a daily basis, which is truly what’s important, when we stop to think about it. 

• Adopt a new friend.

Clearly this is a very individual choice. I’ve had friends who needed to fill the void or help another buddy right away. Others need time to think about it and reset before they bring that next friend into their lives. You will know when the time is right.

• Clean!

Okay, maybe this one isn’t for everyone, but sometimes you need to deflect from the sadness. Cleaning was a way for me to do something that had a beautiful end result and got me out of my head for a couple of hours. You could also get out of the house – go have coffee with a friend, go for a hike, do something that allows your nervous system to stand down for a bit. Believe me, your feelings will still be there when you get back.

There may even be some of you who are at ease with the time you have spent caring for an animal. It doesn’t mean there’s not some sadness, but maybe you experience joy remembering the good times you shared and the love that never dies. However you go through this process, know that it’s all “correct.” We journey through grief and the steps we take through it are not linear. Everything you are experiencing is okay. Just remember, you are not alone! Additionally, your Pikes Peak Vet family has likely been there with you through all the ups and downs of your pet’s life. We understand and are there for you.